After a well-earned break over the summer, Society Diary removed the cobwebs from its interviewing hat and jumped back on the interrogation bike for another face-off with a respected leader.
Diary had hoped to ask Donald Trump during his state visit for his thoughts on the new SORP and whether he liked Marmite but the president only spoke to US press at Chequers.
It all worked out for the best, however, as charity governance expert Penny Wilson stepped into the firing line of Diary’s questioning.
Read on as Wilson talks guinea pigs, crisps and scented candles.
Hi Penny, how do you take your tea/coffee?
“Tea please, strong, milk no sugar. Basically, tar in a mug.”
If you had to be named after another type of coin, what would you pick?
“A franc as I’m frank. I’m on a mission to say it as it is, even when that makes me look useless.
“Life’s too short to expend energy puffing ourselves up, and (frankly) I’m over it. Is it writing all of those funding bids which makes us believe our own rhetoric?
“Let’s talk more about what we’re rubbish at. And that very much extends to trustees. News flash: trustees don’t know it all.”
What’s the most scenic place you have ever checked your emails?
“I can’t think of a single example. I am ridiculously good at writing a stern out of office. Interrupt my Dorset holidays at your peril.
“I can, however, think of multiple times when I’ve been thwarted trying to use functional, not-very-scenic train journeys to catch up on work. How is it that we can put people on the moon, but that the Cambridge to London train wi-fi never works?”
Was this summer’s warm weather lovely or the first sign of the apocalypse?
“The latter. It was minging. And concerning.”
You support organisations that support trustees. Do you hire anyone to support you?
“Not any more, although my family and friends have a long history of being voluntold to help me out at events. My friend Steve once punted down the river Cam in a giant moose costume for me. He still pretends he didn’t like it. And my husband once held back a queue (which was brewing into a middle-class riot) with nothing but gruff behaviour and emergency tape.”
As an event guru, what’s the worst live performance you’ve ever seen?
“How long have you got? Probably a friend trying out stand-up comedy. Cringe. But mostly events that don’t get the very basics right. Come on people – we don’t need to wait for latecomers. You snooze; you lose. Who cares if Betty mentioned that she might come along? Lock the doors and crack on.”
You were a trustee at the National Migraine Centre. Were the board meetings a headache?
“Only for the poor buggers with chronic migraine. Mine are mild in comparison and it’s still grim.”
Have you ever been disrespected by an animal?
“I suspect that my guinea pigs only love me because I feed them. Brutal.”
Which is the best flavour of crisps?
“Don’t do this to me. That’s like asking which of my guinea pigs I’d save in a house fire. Shortlist: pickled onion, spicy tomato, chilli, salt and vinegar. Basically, anything that removes your mouth lining (luckily lager was invented as a harsh-crisp antidote).”
Apart from you, who’s the nicest person in the charity sector?
“Putting aside the fact that ‘nice’ makes me sound like a scented candle, I’m genuinely fascinated by why I’m seen as nice. I feel like standards must be very low when it’s notable that I’m polite, curious and like to big up other people’s work. Why isn’t that the norm?
“There are loads of nice people in the sector. But I might offend someone if I give some names and miss others off, and that wouldn’t be nice.
“Now, where’s that tea you offered me?”
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