Bit nippy now the heatwave is over, wouldn’t you say, reader?
Society Diary honestly misses the worryingly high temperatures we saw at the start of the week – got so much washing done, dried in minutes – but it is probably good for the planet that it has now calmed down. Diary’s parents were struggling too – never heard the phrase “reet mafting” until this week.
The charity press’s premier interviewer [Diary] may have met its match in this week’s head-to-head as it engaged in a battle of wits with Cambridge House’s chief executive and Charity Awards judge Karin Woodley.
Read on as Woodley details an indulgent dream meal, a hidden singing talent and fears of boredom.
Has Karin become a difficult name to have in recent years given its slang meaning?
“Excuse me! My name’s Karin, like ‘car in’ a garage – who are these other people?”
Great start. If you hadn’t forged a career in the charity sector, what would you have done instead?
“I once did a test to determine this and it said ‘dentist’ – Yuk, I have OCD, and nothing could persuade me to dig about in people’s mouths.
“I’m a real nerd and wanted to be a lawyer but my head of 6th form said, ‘people like you are better off going into nursing’. I trained as a musician, don’t have the nerve for performance, but I absolutely loved teaching.
“Perhaps, interior design (I watch too many home renovation shows); nail technician (totally absorbed by ghetto-fabulous nail designs); chef (oops, already overweight and diabetic); politician (but I have too short a fuse); foster parent (too old and cross now); psychotherapist (yes, there’s still time).”
When did you last swear at someone?
“Today, at myself. I’m afraid I can really swear (a family trait) – I don’t swear at anyone but myself, and that’s constant. On the other hand, I swear far too much at situations – the current state of the world has turned me into a seething pile of expletives!”
How highly would you rate your singing and dancing?
“Technically I can sing, my first job after university was singing in an opera chorus – but my voice is not a glorious instrument, you’re better off giving me a piano or a flute. Of course I can dance brilliantly – isn’t that my racial trope?”
If you were on death row, what last meal would you request?
“Being obese has taken 64 years of dedication. So, a Nebuchadnezzar of vintage Louis Roederer, some fizzy water on ice with lime, and a double expresso; avocado prawn cocktail (will need Trinidadian pepper sauce); roast chicken meal (with everything including bread sauce, goose fat roasties, more pepper sauce, and fried plantain); Bake and Shark (no need to count calories – I’m going to die); cheese board (emphasis on blue and soft ‘smelly’ cheeses – condiments to include, figs, grapes, rose petal jelly, raw honey, quince, and ginger preserve) – and because of undoubted delays as people campaign for my life – an extremely large champagne lychee mojito; French onion soup; a very buttery and salty baked potato with cheese, salad and jerk lobster tails – oh, I’ll probably need some curried chana and roti, Maltesers, and another extremely large champagne lychee mojito because I’ll receive a last minute reprieve.”
That should do it. What are you most scared of?
“Fascist dictators, cheese and champagne shortages, my TV breaking, boredom.”
Who’s the greatest person on planet Earth?
“‘Mi lady’ Karen (please see my response to your first question) Bayne, my deputy at Cambridge House – if I don’t shout out to her, my life will be a b****y nightmare!”
If a tech billionaire invited you on a trip to space, what would you say?
“WTF, I don’t like leaving my house.”
Have you ever had an argument with another Charity Awards judge and who won?
“Of course, I’ve had dignified disagreements and of course I won. In the words of Karoline Leavitt: ‘What a stupid question.’”
Where would you travel if you had unlimited resources?
“Senegal, Ethiopia, Iceland, New Zealand, all the Caribbean and the rest of the world – but I’m still not leaving my house to go into space with a tech billionaire.”
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