Glad tidings, dear readers, as many of us prepare to ignore climate change fears for the weekend as we settle in for yet another heatwave. This summer has been so full of waves, it is starting to feel more like a prolonged heatcuddle to Diary.
There are signs that the balmy weather may have been affecting the country’s social media activity. Not least Reform MP and former football club chairman Rupert Lowe, who posted a picture of some rowers raising money for motor neurone disease charities.
Might delete later?
In a post not yet deleted, Lowe said: “If these are illegal migrants, I will be using every tool at my disposal to ensure these individuals are deported.”
Realising his mistake the following morning, Lowe posted: “False alarm! The unknown vessel was charity rowers, thank goodness. As a well done to the crew, I'll donate £1,000 to their charity - raising money for MND.”
Nevertheless, Lowe had alerted police, whose officers were spotted waiting on the beach for the team of four fundraisers.
“Thankfully the police and coastguard consist of predominantly adult land mammals, complete with working brain cells, and so immediately realised the lunacy of illegal migrants choosing to invade the country using a £75,000 cutting edge ocean rowing boat,” the team posted on social media.
Diary can only hope Lowe has learnt his lesson and he doesn’t proceed to confuse fun runners with escaped prisoners and Movember participants with foreign spies.
Clarkson’s annual boast
In other social media news, celebrity farmer Jeremy Clarkson did his yearly social media post about how he is now minted despite getting a C and two Us in his A levels.
The privately educated former Top Gearer urged those receiving similarly disappointing results this year not to worry as he is now “installing lights for a helicopter landing pad in my garden”.
Cancer Research UK responded with its own post: “We’re happy for you, Jeremy (not so much your neighbours).
“Meanwhile, some of our researchers (who went through clearing, btw) are turning their findings into life-saving treatments for people with cancer. Head to our profile to read some of their stories.”
Despite receiving many likes and reposts, the charity was also heavily criticised by others for its post and has now deleted it “due to the negative comments directed at our researchers”.
Diary is slightly depressed by the fact that the public rallied round to defend a multi-millionaire’s big-headed post over the modest success stories of a charity’s researchers.
But kudos goes to the charity for remembering how to delete social media posts.
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