Ian Allsop calls for a charity to be set up to campaign on behalf of oppressed right-wing politicians.

I can't not write about it can I? People are expecting it. So here goes. The world moves too quickly for us on-the-printed-page columnists these days and, as the old adage doesn’t say, a long time is weak in politics.

No sooner had my musings about Brooks Newmark ‘dropping a clanger’ with his needle-based handicraft comments hit the streets than the story had already been overtaken as he redefined that particular expression in truly spectacular style. He really should have stuck to the knitting, if only to provide himself with some cover.

Short tenure

in office Newmark’s replacement is Rob Wilson. I have done a bit of research on him but frankly I don’t know if I can be bothered to turn it into anything mildly insightful or satirical (other than what you are about to read in the next 12 words) as he will probably have moved on by the time of publication. At the outside I reckon he’ll be gone in May.

You might think that the story of Newmark’s honey-trap sting would be a godsend to a columnist, but innuendo isn’t really the Charity Finance style. And even as I was considering just what I could get away with, the Newmark story had moved on again with further revelations about his personal life.

This led Newmark to bravely own up to his mistakes and quit politics altogether, as he revealed he is battling demons and mental agony. I hope that he finds plenty of mental health charities out there which can not only provide the support services he requires, but which can also campaign on behalf of all sufferers of depression in a world that doesn’t always understand these issues.

Whatever the arguments are about just how stupid Newmark was, it is questionable how much the original story really was in the public interest, especially give the subterfuge used to obtain it. Newmark wasn’t the only right-wing MP targeted, and it is clear that the Tories are being picked on.

It’s true. Lord Lawson’s charity has been accused of “blurring fact and comment on climate change” after the Charity Commission said his Global Warming Policy Foundation was promoting a political agenda rather than educational views.

It is a pretty poor show if people can’t go around using a charitable think tank to espouse their own opinions. Or, to put it another way, get involved in campaigning on political issues. Unless they are leftie ones of course.

Personally, I have always been a Lord Lawson sceptic and don’t believe there is any real proof that he exists – or if he does, he certainly isn’t man-made. And apart from anything else, you should never trust a politician called Nigel. I cite Evans and that bloke from Ukip as further supporting evidence here.

Bullying of Conservatives

And then there was the quite disturbing news that Conservatives working in the voluntary sector are reluctant to admit to party membership. This was according to MP Penny Mordaunt, who has no qualms revealing that she once worked for George Bush, which is surely far more embarrassing than being a Tory affiliate or appearing on the reality TV show, ‘Splash!’

She is also a former director of Diabetes UK where she had responsibility for campaigning (in the days when it was allowed), and said, straight-faced: “There are people in the sector who have faced quite unpleasant discrimination for being Conservative. That’s just completely wrong.”

Yes. Yes it is. As is any discrimination, as I am sure many of Mordaunt’s colleagues would agree.

Finally, we learnt that not only are the right being picked on, but some of the worst bullies are in fact charities. You see, it is you lot who are standing in the way of prosperity and capitalism. Don’t take my word for it, no less of an economic expert than George Osborne says so.

The fact that the only reason some charities are needed in the first place is arguably to address the failings of the free market is neither here nor there. You are bullying business and the government has had to intervene, in a kind of bullying way, to protect the virtues of non-interventionist economics.

What with all of these do-gooders doing good, it really is difficult being Conservative. They clearly need a stronger voice. If only someone would set up a charity to lobby on the right’s behalf.

Ian Allsop is a freelance editor and journalist, and regular contributor to Charity Finance