Society Diary: People with extremely tenuous connections to trees

24 Feb 2017 Voices

A jungle. One which might or might not resemble the one where the Charity Commission board live.

This week Diary goes green. We’ve got tree-huggers, charities named after talking trees, and a metaphorical trip to the jungle.

Okay, so it’s not that green. No one involved has actually been outdoors particularly recently, so far as we can see, but hey, it’s the thought that counts.

We have decided…

So there’s a charity named after Treebeard the ent – the tree-man character from Lord of the Rings. That’s quite good, isn’t it? It’s got a big picture of him on its website, and some cash. Apparently it’s going to try and grow its pot of money.

Its new website says it’s coming soon, but hey, we all know what soon means in ent-speak, don’t we?

At least, those people nerdy to have watched all three Lord of the Rings films, plus the director’s cut, and the commentaries, and all 40 “making of” trailers. Which definitely, for the record, doesn’t include Diary.

Anyway, ents don’t go very fast, you see. Funny, isn’t it?

Anyway, the guys at the trust are not happy with the traditional investment model, and have implemented a root and branch reform of their approach. It’s actually quite thought-provoking, if you’re interested in new funding models, but this column is not. This column is all about making tedious tree-related puns.

So regardless, we thought it was pretty good that the Treebeard Trust is abandoning grants and traditional investments, and moving to more of a social ent-erprise model.

Okay, we know when we’re not wanted. Is it time that Treebeard shuffles off these pages and, er, leaves?

William Sherecross?

So this column has noticed that it has recently featured William Shawcross, chair of the Charity Commission, quite a lot. This week it was the turn of Baroness Warsi, Tory peer, to fire off the criticism.

Shawcross, she said at the Muslim Charity Awards on Wednesday, needed to be more like Baloo the Bear, and less like Shere Khan, with regard to the Muslim charity sector.

Presumably the underlying metaphor is that the Charity Commission should look after Muslim charities, not try to eat them. Although it does summon some quite startling metaphors to mind. Is the charity sector supposed to attack the Charity Commission with burning coals and skin it? Or are we dealing with the Disney version of the Jungle Book, not the Kipling one, where the law of the jungle is a little bit kinder?

Anyway, Diary isn’t quite clear what led to this Baloo hulabaloo, but it has left this column wondering who in the sector most resembles other characters from the jungle book. Who’s Kaa the snake? Who’s King Louie? Who are the vultures? How do we find out? What do you want to do?

And is it true that the charity sector can get by with just the bare necessities? And are we trying it out?