Our weekly round-up of interesting and outlandish information, collected from the corners of the charity sector.

So that’s what Mitchell Johnson’s doing wrong

Mitchell Johnson, the spearhead of Australia’s cricketing pace attack, is an enigmatic character. He burst onto the international scene with a flurry of wickets, but then lost all rhythm and disappeared into wayward haplessness.

Then, out of nowhere, he burst back onto the scene.

Diary has a theory about what happened. It was all charity wot dun it.

Johnson, you see, is a very nice lad, and he needed a bit of the mongrel spirit to give his bowling the fire it required. Step forward Australian charity Movember, who encouraged him to grow one of the world’s most terrifying moustaches.

Instantly, Johnson went from out of the squad to the world’s best bowler, terrifying England during the previous Ashes to the extent that Diary has tried repeatedly to forget the series even existed.

Here in England, though, he seems to have lost much of his threat *. The moustache has lost its magic.

And this is because Movember itself is facing a downturn. Data released earlier this week shows it was the fastest faller in the list of the UK’s top mass participation fundraising events.

The fastest riser, on the other hand, was Save the Children’s Christmas Jumper Day.

The answer’s obvious, Mitchell. If you want to get the moustachio mojo back, you know what you have to do.

Sticking with a sporting theme

So you have to feel for Guilherme Ferreira Souza, the driver for the Germany team during the last World Cup.

Souza, a native Brazilian who heads the Azo children’s charity in Sao Paulo, persuaded the team to donate their kit from the World Cup semi-final game – 270 shirts, shorts, bibs and other items – for auction for his charity, but a year on and they’re still sitting in a warehouse 70 miles away, because, supposedly, he doesn’t have the proper permits.

He’s already been fined the best part of £100 for “wrongly classifying” the items.

It’s almost as if there’s some vindictiveness on the part of the Brazilian officials. But why could that be? Surely nothing to do with the 7-1 gubbing inflicted on their team in that semi-final match by aforementioned Germans.

You see that blonde nurse…

While we’re on the subject of people not getting what they’re owed, Society Diary has been watching from afar the announcement of redundancies at R Fundraising.

Essentially, for those not following the story, what happened was that the board at R Fundraising’s corporate masters issued a long announcement about how the company was in great shape and was now strategic and poised for growth. Oh, and they’d sacked 99 people and re-employed one of them – a member of the board.

For the most part it’s hardly a case for levity – hardworking people have lost their jobs through no fault of their own – but the announcement itself put Diary in mind of a favourite joke **.

A doctor approaches a patient and says “I’ve got some good news and some bad news.”

“What’s the bad news?” asks the patient.

“We’ve had to amputate your leg?”

“And the good news?”

“You see that blonde nurse over there?”

“The really good-looking one?”

“Yep.”

“What about her?”

“I’ve got a date with her.”

* Diary is aware that Johnson is to bowl at England in the 4th innings later today, and is tempting fate in the worst way. If Australia pull off a miracle, Diary will issue a full mea culpa next week.

** Diary may have used this example before. But what the hell, it’s worth sharing twice.

With thanks to Alex Goddard for help with artwork.