Society Diary: Philately will get you nowhere

30 Nov 2018 Voices

This isn't stamp collecting. It's a couple of bottles of Febreze. If you want to know why, you'll have to read the article.

Well, here we are, once again, at the end of another week, enjoying some navel gazing. Or perhaps, if you're a Royal Marines charity, or the Mary Rose Trust, maybe some naval gazing.

Speaking of navel gazing, why do some people get belly button fluff and others don’t. Is it a function of hairiness? Are you more likely to get it if you have an inny or an outy?

Anyway, we digress. Let's look at all the important things that happened in the world of charity this week.

Tigerish Crouch, hidden finger

As you’re no doubt aware, Tracey Crouch resigned recently as minister for everything unimportant, including charities. It was a rather bizarre affair. Crouch wanted the government to slash the maximum stake on fixed-odds betting terminals, as it had promised, and she thought the chancellor’s excuse for why he couldn’t do it immediately was a load of my-granny’s-second-best-shirt. So she threatened to resign.

The government examined its parliamentary calculus, realising it couldn’t win a vote on FOBTs and was keen not to have another rebellious ex-minister on the back benches. So it let her go anyway, in the kind of slick political manouevre this administration is becoming famous for, and then had to climb down regardless. Genius.

Here’s Crouch, accepting an award at a recent Spectator do, showing Philip Hammond the respect he deserves.

Chip in for a six-pack of Febreze

So the Institute of Fundraising has been thrown out of its office, it appears, after the floor above caught fire, and then the sprinklers went on, and the whole place was flooded. Oh dear.

Nobody likes to see things go wrong for anyone else, so it definitely shouldn’t be funny that now it’s dried out, the whole place is really smelly.

Well, sorry, but it is.

Anyway, Diary’s confident that the individuals involved at the IoF will be up to the challenge of getting the resources they need to keep the place going. We expect a fundraising campaign in the near future.

So we’re encouraging our loyal readers to send nose plugs, pomades, and air freshener. We thought about setting an Amazon list but, well, we're lazy.

Take a butcher's at Miller's butcher

So Gina Miller is back again to talk about her work with charities.

Our pal Dusty, for those who don’t remember, wrote a report that was featured on the front page of the Daily Telegraph, attacking charities for basically paying people and doing stuff. Now, for some inexplicable reason, the FT has given her space to talk about it again.

It’s just stream of consciousness nonsense. Apparently we should abolish the Charity Commission, which should then (after being abolished) put limits on how much charities should pay CEOs. We should force charities to merge into bigger organisations, but charities should be smaller. Charities should be more like businesses, but they shouldn’t be competing with one another.

Oh, and all charities should be trying to do themselves out of a job, which will be interesting to the RNLI, which could maybe find a way for people to breathe water, or the Canal and River Trust, which could persuade people to stop using boats.

But Diary was most interested to find out that she has a network of volunteers she can place with charities if you need. One of them is a butcher, although no charity has found a need for him yet. 

He’s been given the cold shoulder, apparently, which Diary feels is a mis-steak. 

Anyway, if you do have a position, he knows how to fillet.

Pushing the envelope

On a final note, the Charity Commission has warned that charities which collect used stamps as a means of fundraising may be enabling fraudulent activity. 

It’s good they’ve decided to post this update. It's wrong to philately deny this is a problem.

Let’s get stamp fraud licked.


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