Our weekly round-up of outlandish and interesting information collected from the corners of the charity sector.

Wizzard wheezzes

This week saw the judging of The Charity Awards, Civil Society Media’s flagship awards for charities.

Ears pricked up when Richard Hawkes, the chief executive of Scope and one of our eminent judges, spotted a connection between the Lumos Foundation and MapAction, two entrants under consideration.

“So Lumos Foundation was founded by JK Rowling, and JK Rowling wrote Harry Potter,” he told his fellow bigwigs.  “Harry Potter was a wizard.  I see from the application form for MapAction that the chair of MapAction is Roy Wood. And as everyone knows, Roy Wood was the lead singer of the 70s band Wizzard!”

Thanks Richard. Important to know that.

Diary has investigated, though, and discovered that the lead singer of Wizzard was not actually Roy Wood but another man of the same name.

The shortlist for the Charity Awards will be announced on Civil Society News on Monday 11 May. Diary is assured that Hawkes spent the rest of his judging taking his responsibilities very seriously.

Going off the beaten track

While we’re on the subject of MapAction, Diary feels compelled to consider the advantages it must have over the common run of mortals. After all, the sector’s commonly exhorted to go off the beaten track and push the boundaries. But when MapAction does this, it always knows where it is.

Similarly, it must always be easy to find a clear career path. And when it comes to strategy, it must be child’s play to identify the correct direction.

Penguins see a p-p-p-pick up

So for the first time, penguins have overtaken polar bears in the popularity stakes at WWF, largely thanks to a bloody irritating TV advert with a small child and a penguin, which increased penguin sponsorships by 250 per cent*. Well done to them. Maybe.

Diary did not much like the John Lewis advert at the time, largely because this column suffers from an unfortunate genetic condition that makes it incapable of going “Aaah” when faced with things that are supposed to make you say “Aaah”. Instead this disability requires it to storm off, muttering under its breath about saccharine nonsense.

The same condition makes it incapable of understanding the attraction of kittens, moral homilies etched in needlepoint, and cushions on furniture.

In short, Diary does not wish this column to be seen as an endorsement for adverts featuring endangered animals. We don’t want to panda to this sort of thing.

Elderly lady also sees a pick up

A bit of an own goal for Age UK East Sussex, which went round to an elderly woman’s house the other day and wandered off with all her stuff without permission. When she came home from hospital, she discovered her gaff was completely empty.

To be fair to the charity, it had been told by her relatives that it was ok to take all her gear, because she was supposed to be entering a nursing home, not having a brief stay in hospital. And it did give her everything back, and offer her £1,000 compensation, which she took.

But still, it’s a bit embarrassing.

*As a postscript to this, Diary would also like to point out to everyone that if numbers triple they increase by 200 per cent, not 300 per cent. This isn’t especially funny, but it gets right on Diary’s wick.