Our weekly round-up of interesting and outlandish information, collected from the corners of the charity sector. 

How to seduce your donor

Of late, Diary has found itself wrestling with some of existence’s thorniest issues: the miracle of birth and finality of death. What part does this column really play in the great ballet of the cosmos? What does it mean to be in love?

Well, the vagaries of the human heart may always remain a mystery, but the good people at Rogare - the fundraising think-tank of Plymouth University - are here to offer a little help.

Rogare published its four volume relationship fundraising magnum opus, Where Do We Go From Here? yesterday. Having read the thing , Diary can’t help but think that some of the language gets a little, er, evocative.

In fact, this report really should have been published with an age certification on it: ‘Not suitable for anyone under the age of 18 as may contain innuendo, some adult themes, and suggestions that good fundraising leads to something akin to le petit mort’.

If Diary had been asked for a title, to be honest, we'd have suggested The Donor Sutra.

So please get comfortable while Diary pops some Terence Trent D'Arby on the record player, turns down the dimmer switch, decants the ‘special occasion’ bottle of red and fires up a few scented candles. Because we’re about to go deep here. Very deep.

“At the start of a relationship, donors will be attracted to supporting a cause because of what the charity does,” says the report. “At this point, donor satisfaction comes from creating the best first giving experience possible and, if possible, striving to create a sense of longing”. As it is in relationship fundraising, so too is it on a third date.

And apparently “donors need to be ‘aroused’ to feel something about the cause”. As the actress said to the bishop.

Essentially, the report says, charities just want a quick donation on a regular basis, and have tried to go with the volume approach - just keep asking every Friday night until someone different says yes. Rogare is advocating that charities put down the fundraising equivalent of Tinder and try the fine art of the long seduction instead.

As with any relationship though, Rogare warns us that there comes a point where the honeymoon phase invariably ends: “Once a donor-charity relationship progresses out of its initial attraction/arousal stage, the emphasis shifts away from what the donor can do… to how the relationship can help fulfil the donor’s needs”. 

The problem, it seems, comes when charities no longer rely on the power of whipped cream, feathers and blindfolds, and have instead to take the bins out and remember to put the loo seat down.

Rogare considers to expound on this theory in ever more explicit terms. But Diary’s not going anywhere near Rogare’s “Self-enhancement Theory,” no matter how much you beg.

On the other hand, Diary will admit that any relationship - fundraising or otherwise - could arguably benefit from running a 'recency and frequency' analysis every now and then.

Incidentially, Diary should also say this work does a fantastic job of updating Ken Burnett’s 23-year-old theory of relationship fundraising. The response from the fundraising community has so far been glowing.

A bit late?

So English Heritage, which became a charity last year, is live tweeting the Battle of Hastings this year.

Not exactly live, Diary notes. Actually 950 years too late. But you get the idea.

This is the kind of thing, Diary supposes, which the government envisaged the charity could start doing once it was spun out into independence in the third sector, and let’s face it, it’s emerged from the public sector just in time.

You can follow eight Twitter accounts representing different viewpoints of the battle – down to the ordinary soldier - and @King_Harold66 has already got going, tweeting “There isn’t a man alive who can take my kingdom from me.”

Presumably the ordinary guy is going to be tweeting stuff like "Gonna give d Normans a good kicking. Lengendary #bantz."

Diary supposes it’s going to get more graphic as time goes by, culminating on 14 October with a short message. “**** that hurt,” or something similar.

Perhaps they’ve gone bussed

Diary notes a Charity Commission report which says the East Anglia Transport Society has failed to file accounts for the last couple of years.

They’d managed to file accounts with Companies House, so this is sheer incompetence. Surely they of all people don’t need more training.

With thanks to The Times

Diary was rather taken with The Times newspaper’s take on the decision of the boat race to partner with Cancer Research UK. Surely, it says, the money should go to stroke awareness.