Our weekly round-up of interesting and outlandish information, collected from the corners of the charity sector.

Working for the E-Team

So apparently Ed Sheeran, the mop-headed music sensation from Suffolk, has decided to take a break from music, in order to work in a charity shop in the town where he grew up. Which is a bit of an odd decision, all told, and caused Diary some thought.

First, it occurred that it might shock people a bit more if his girlfriend turns up to help out. Ed’s apparently dating knockout US songstress Nicole Scherzinger, who’s famous for – well, Diary struggles to remember, but famous, certainly. Anyway, Diary has this odd feeling that she might look a bit out of place in the Elizabeth Hospice shop in Framlingham.

That aside, Sheeran’s got a bit of form for this sort of thing – quirky but generous behaviour. He donated the outfit he wore to some famous awards ceremony to charity, and has apparently bought a local police station to turn into a youth club.

Sheeran’s music career was actually launched by charity – sort of. His first and still most famous song is “The A-Team”, an acoustic piece about a drug-addicted prostitute, inspired by a visit to a homeless shelter.

So this is the thing. Diary’s first reaction was that Sheeran might be more useful to Elizabeth Hospice if he spent the time singing and gave them the money he earned. After all, there’s nothing to suggest that he’s a particularly good shop assistant, whereas we have proof positive that he’s top notch at knocking out catchy ballads about miserable people, and shifting a lot of singles thereby.

But then Diary thought a bit more about it. After all, it’s Sheeran’s time and money and he can do what he likes with it. If he wants to work in a charity shop, good on him. It’s better than nothing. If he’d spent the time cavorting with bikini-clad lovelies on a yacht in the Caribbean, no one would have had a bad word to say about it.

And this is always the problem, isn’t it? When people give to charity, you’d like them to do so as efficiently as possible, but they don’t necessarily want to. In fact, most people don’t like to think too hard about it at all.

Apropos of nothing much, Diary’s reminded of Chris Evans, Sheeran’s fellow ginger, who decided when he retired from TFI Friday that he would buy a minibus and drive old people to the shops. But apparently they didn’t want to go to the shops. So Evans, disgruntled, retired his van and went back to not being helpful to anyone.

There is at this point a long disquisition to be launched on the nature of generosity, and the difficulty that those of us who think about charity on a conscious level have when dealing with those approaching it from a more atavistic place. But perhaps this isn’t the time. So let’s move on to talking rabbits, instead.

Doctor Bluelittle

Diary was rather taken by the Blue Cross’s latest accounts, which contain testimonies dictated by users, talking about what a good job the charity’s done.

Which, given that the Blue Cross is an animal charity, suggests they’ve done a really wonderful job. After all, if you can teach Archie the horse to talk, you’re unlikely to have to worry about your fundraising ratios in the future. The cash will come rolling in.

Okay, Diary understands that the horses, cats, dogs and rabbits didn’t actually write the testimonies themselves. But it gives Diary an excuse to lead with a picture of Bonnie the bunny, which will gather some brownie points in other departments, here at Society Towers.

Buy these tickets or I take your car

So charity fundraising has taken a beating for being a bit aggressive in recent weeks. But if you think chu… sorry, face-to-face fundraisers, are a bit hardcore, take a look at this US police officer, who leaned in through a guy’s window and told him “Buy these tickets, or I take your car”.

Unsurprisingly, the guy ponied up 30 bucks for some tickets.

The policeman’s since been suspended.

“No part of that video is good,” the local police commissioner said later, thereby demonstrating facility for both spotting misdemeanour and using understatement.

Bubb’s going nowhere

While we’re on the subject of understatement, we move onto a man who’s never knowingly used it.

According to the accounts of Acevo, the infrastructure body for chief executives, the charity would face a “significant risk” if their own chief executive were to leave.

Diary’s not surprised. After all, finding a chief executive to lead a body for chief executives must take some doing. They’d have to be the crème de la crème. Think of how it must be to deal with the board, for a start. Imagine 12 chief executives scrutinising what you do. It’d constantly be like when the plumber comes round to look at the botch job you did on the pipes. A whole board of people scrutinising your work, thinking “Oooh, I wouldn’t have done it like that”.

Fortunately, Acevo has the man for the job. The one and only, wholly inimitable, Sir Stephen Bubb. A man so perspicacious, efficacious and loquacious that even the mighty chief executives of the charity sector are held in sway by his word.

But will Bubb stay? After all, his loyal fans must fear he grows longer in the tooth. Perhaps he may be contemplating an early retirement to his beloved Cotswolds, to ramble along country lanes between houses of golden Oxfordshire stone, accompanied just by his loyal terrier, pausing only to scribble a bon mot for his memoirs and take a sip of red wine.

Fear not, Bubblies (for thus Diary has christened the man’s many fans). Your leader will not be leaving us soon, according to Acevo. The accounts say he’s planning to “stay for a number of years”.