Society Diary: Drinking at Stonehenge stonewalled

12 Feb 2016 Voices

Our weekly round-up of interesting and outlandish information, collected from the corners of the charity sector.

Our weekly round-up of interesting and outlandish information, collected from the corners of the charity sector.

Hell hath no fury, like a Druid scorned

Since becoming a registered charity in mid-2015, English Heritage has done a lot of great things. This column’s personal favourite use of its newly minted charitable status so far has been when it decided to live-tweet the Battle of Hastings. Nothing quite says: “We’re a charity that’s really got our finger on the pulse of modernity” than tweeting about something that happened 950 years ago.

Still, Diary is of the opinion that English Heritage has gone a step too far with its recent announcement that it is considering banning people from drinking alcohol at Stonehenge. The charity revealed this new measure at a planning meeting for the 2016 Summer Solstice last week.

Diary wonders what kind of hellish world it's living in when people can’t get absolutely bladdered at 5am and watch the sun come up between some 4,000-year-old stones that may, or may not, have been dragged by hand all the way from Wales?

According to a fairly excellent ‘exclusive’ by the Western Daily Press, King Arthur – the self-professed grand high poobah of the Druid world, who was the driving force behind opening Stonehenge back up to the public for the summer and winter solstices in 2000 – was so enraged at the proposed alcohol ban that he walked out of the meeting.

Diary can imagine few things more terrifying than a disgruntled Druid.

Sure, there’s a pretty valid case to be made that a frail Iron Age monument isn’t the best place to consume home-brewed, 10 per cent scrumpy cider.

Yet Diary can’t help but side with Voltaire on this one. Diary doesn’t necessarily agree with drinking and desecration of Stonehenge, but it’ll defend to the death a bunch of West Country farmers and crusty, inner-city hippies' right to do so.

Bigs Bunny

The Scottish SPCA is seeking a new home for a 1.2m long rabbit. The enormous rabbit, pretty appropriately named ‘Atlas’ (pictured), is seven months old and, according to staff at the charity “still has some growing to do”.

1.2 metres long! Sweet mother of Mary, that’s basically dog sized.

Anna O’Donnell, manager of the SPCA centre in Cardonald, Glasgow, says that Atlas “is a very friendly rabbit who loves attention and getting cuddles”. She neglected to mention that his other favourite pastimes presumably include eating until every field, garden, and forest on Earth is reduced to desert and trampling city skylines to rubble.

“Atlas is also an inquisitive boy who makes everyone laugh with his mischievous character,” O’Donnell continues. That may be, but Diary suspects whoever takes Atlas into their home won’t be laughing too much the first time he jumps onto their stomach while they are watching television. Laughing is pretty hard to do with a stove-in ribcage, internal bleeding and perforated lungs.

Seriously though, if you live in Scotland and have a limitless budget to spend at your local greengrocers, than Diary implores you to take Atlas in! He does have really cute, floppy ears…

The great charity bag swindle

So that charity bag charge which is raising money for charities. Turns out it’s also raising money for shoplifters.

Reports in the papers this week show that since supermarkets were required to charge a plastic bag levy and donate it to charity, they have been hit by a massive rise in thefts.

Basically, millions of people too stingy to pay 5p for a bag, and too disorganised to bring their own, are walking out with their stuff balanced precariously in their arms. Now it no longer looks odd, shoplifters have started ambling in, picking up their weekly milk and bread, and buggering off again without the inconvenience of paying for it.

Retailers have been left scratching their heads. Just another example of how virtue is its own punishment.