Society Diary: Carrots, with a side of Christmas

15 Dec 2017 Voices

Kevin's and Katie's new arrivals

Happy end of the week dear readers! Christmas continues to descend on us all like a turkey-shaped asteroid filled with tinsel so, unfortunately for you grinches out there, charity festive campaigns have caught Society Diary’s attention for the second week running.

First up, congratulations are in order for the UK’s first celebrity root vegetable power couple, Kevin and Katie, who have now revealed their children to world, Chantenay, Baby Carrot and Jasper.

Kevin was a huge hit last year fronting Aldi’s Christmas campaign in his quest to meet Santa Claus. So this year the supermarket brought Kevin back, firstly by trying to find the eligible bachelor a date. It even went to the extent of listing Kevin on dating app, Happn. This is 21st century advertising, guys.

Last month, it launched a new advert with Kevin’s new love, Katie. As the website shows, Kevin turned down a range of different vegetables including a sexy cabbage, a smouldering garlic bulb and a striking potato before settling for a fellow carrot.

But Diary’s favourite of Kevin’s root vegetable rejects is Oona the Onion from Oldham, a character that is particularly richly drawn. Here’s her bio: “This vegetable may look firm but as soon as she opens up there’s going to be tears, yours and hers. She’s hoping Kevin keeps a pack of tissues handy when they go out and about together.”

And now, it has revealed the couple’s offspring will be joining them for Christmas festivities.

The advert depicts a typical carrot Christmas where Chantenay, Baby Carrot and Jasper all get miniature versions of themselves. Kevin and Katie, meanwhile, get a scarf and a copy of Fifty Shades of Grape respectively.

Diary just hope Oona doesn’t turn up on the family’s door on Christmas day, demanding maintenance costs for an illegitimate carrot/potato lovechild.

A cynical person might say that this impressively fast-moving plotline is merely an attempt to sell more toy carrots at Aldi. And they’d be right.

It seems to be working though as local newspapers have been filled will reports of shoppers forming “scrums” in the battle to get their hands on the cuddly characters.

So it’s a win for Aldi, and root vegetables, but most-importantly the Teenage Cancer Trust, which will receive money from the toys’ sales.

Rude-dolph

Hyde Park Junior School in Plymouth was forced to apologise after it sent a picture of a lewd Christmas jumper to parents on Monday.

The primary school was informing parents of its plans to take part in Save the Children’s Christmas Jumper Day today, and accidentally illustrated this with a picture of a jumper with reindeers mating on the front.

Headteacher Tina Jackson said: “Unfortunately we didn’t look closely enough at the picture we used to show our support for ‘Save the Children’s Christmas Jumper Friday’.

“We’re sorry if it has offended anyone and hope it doesn’t spoil our good intention of encouraging pupils to support a very worthy cause.”

To support the day nationally, Save the Children put a pair of disturbing Boris Johnson and Theresa May waxworks outside Number 10 wearing a two-person jumper saying “Christmas means Christmas”.

Boris and Theresa 440.jpg

The Mail Online, meanwhile, ran a story about author Nick Fisher, who complained after he was asked by Cancer Research UK to remove references to it in his expletive-laden books.

Fisher gives 50p from each sale of his comedy novels, such as Ho F******* Ho - B******* to Christmas, to the charity, raising £600 so far.

A surprisingly erudite Fisher said: “If it's the case that they will accept my donations but they just don't want people to know they are being associated with books of that kind then they are being hypocritical.”

And finally...

Diary was delighted to attend NCVO’s annual Christmas bash this week, mixing it with the great and the good of the charity sector.

One attendee who turned a few heads was the ghost of Christmas past - former civil society minister Rob Wilson, who has developed an interest in the sector since losing his job in June.

Diary just hopes Wilson maintains this enthusiasm if he is to make a rumoured return to the sector in 2018 as Charity Commission chair.

 

More on